a video tour of our home

Jack and I very proud of the fact that we furnished our entire home without once visiting a furniture store. Thank you garage sales, hand-me-downs, Craigslist, thrift stores, and everyone who got us wedding presents to fill up our home!

Sorry for how shaky it is! And I really did not go into detail about some of the beautiful things in our home. So I will mention a few of them:

• In our living room, the piece of furniture underneath the mirror is an antique radio we found at a garage sale. I just love listening to the radio while I work on our home!
• The rug is in our living room is probably the most expensive furniture/decor in our house, because I bought it new outside of the PX (mini-mall type thing) on post.
• In our kitchen, the canvas above the counter says: 10 18 88 / the year his life began / 12 18 90 / the year her life began / 8 3 13/ the year their life began  Adorable, right? It was made by my friend, Leslie, as a wedding gift.
• There is another canvas in the hallway that has the verse "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" along with our initials and wedding date. My roommate Shireen made it!
• I would like to thank my Aunt Sarah for the kitchen table and pink chair in our master bedroom! She gave it to me in college, and now it is furnishing my home as a married woman. Who knew it would last that long?
• The antique looking mirror in our bedroom was a thrift store steal!
• The headboard we got for $15 from a family off Craigslist and the beautiful bench in front of our bed was from my Mima who gave it to my mom...who then gave it to us. :)
• The round table in our bedroom was given to me for free by my education school friend who was moving.
• Probably my absolute favorite thing is our vacuum. I can't remember who bought it for us, but THANK YOU! It is AMAZING. I LOVE THIS VACUUM. So glad I didn't register for the crazy expensive Dyson. I'M IN LOVE.

Okay, I admit, all this time alone is for real making me a little batty.

what the holts have been up to, numbered for your reading convenience

1. We went camping in the San Isabel National Forest.

On the drive up which took like an hour, I was so annoyed with Jack because he kept talking about everything that could go wrong! Bears, mountain lions, thunderstorms, running off the freakishly curvy roads, creepy old men murderers, etc. Because it is apparently entertaining when I get annoyed,  Jack kept saying things like: "Wow, I can BEARly see the road" or "this drive is unBEARably long," etc etc. I was so mad at him, but I was trying not to laugh at the same time! I guess this is marriage. ;)

2. We had our very first "date night." We went out to dinner for some sushi and then hit...Blockbuster. Believe it or not, it still exists. And we saw some cool movies there too.

Check out the names on the back of Nailbiter!

3. I cleaned our house. Like. A lot. 

I don't have a picture of our house, because I'm going to post a video tour. But here is an adorable picture of Sarah, my junior bridesmaid!

4. We continued Jack's family's tradition of grilling out on Sunday. I have to point something out. I am darn good at making fires. I mean, I'm not trying to brag (just kidding, I'm totally trying to brag), but I made the fire on our camping trip and I made the grill work on a windy day. Jack had no idea he married a fire master. Muahaha. Oh, also. We got patio furniture! I love it. I've been reading on the lounge chair in the morning. I am mentioning the furniture here because I put it together while Jack grilled out. I'm not crazy!

5. I took this puppy on some runs. Afterwards, she lies around for hours. The best.

6. We got to see some of the images from the shoot with Alysson. 

Isn't she an amazing photographer?

On a similar note, our wedding photographer came out with a preview from our wedding. The pictures are just gorgeous:

http://www.bethanywearsphotography.com/2013/08/26/jack-emily-coming-soon/

7. We bought a bike for me and we went bike riding on the trail behind our house. We realized that it goes all over town, so we will be doing that soon! I also found out that there is a women's riding group that meets once a week, so I will definitely start doing that, especially when Jack deploys. I need to make some friends!

Yes, we are walking, not riding bikes here. Whatevs. I needed a picture!

8. I finally applied for some substitute teaching positions.

9. I sent my headshot and resume to a couple premiere talent agencies in Denver. Guess what? This girl has got an interview! More like an audition. Pray for me! I'm hoping to get represented by them and get some work acting. 

8. I will have you know that Jack made ME dinner last night. He's a keeper! I married him for a reason ;)

A few screen shots of Bethany's beautiful photos.

Jack and I were talking the other day, and we realize that we are living our dream. We are so blessed!

deployment prayers

Jack is deploying a little earlier than we had thought. Honestly, I expected myself to be a little more upset about it, but I think the fact that we get to spend every day together makes it easier. We have time. Not a lot of it, but at least we have it. And we are certainly enjoying it! My next post will show some of the exciting things we have been up to.

When Jack is in Kuwait, he would be the first to be sent to an area of conflict in the middle east. That means all chemical weapons supposedly perpetrated by the Syrian government and the subsequent talk of military intervention in Syria is making us very, very nervous. It seems as if Congress is really pushing for a military response, as are many of our allies. And Iran, Syria's closest ally, isn't happy about all this talk of intervention. We can't do anything about it but pray that peace will come to this country and that our military, if sent to Syria, will be safe, that they will be there as peacemakers.

What is surreal about this is that I can't get Syria out of my mind right now with all the tension going on over there and my husband's chances at being sent there. But it seems like no one has any idea what is going on. I guess this is what it feels like to be an army wife. You have so many concerns about the safety of your husband and pay attention to every little international conflict knowing that it could deeply affect your life, yet no one outside of this world has any idea of what is going on.

If this post is slightly depressing, I'll include a quote about marriage from my adoring husband: "I love having a wife! I just opened up a drawer, and my boxers were all folded!"

settling into marriage

I would say my husband and I are doing a pretty good job of settling into this whole marriage thing. My days are mostly full of laundry, dishes, cleaning, making food, taking care of the animals, grocery shopping, ya know, housewife stuff. I actually don't mind it too much. I am definitely going to get a job, but I can actually picture myself staying home when we start having kids. Right now, it can get pretty boring at times, but Molly and Leo help me to feel more sane. Although now that I've written that out, I technically don't think talking to animals classifies me as more sane? It is what it is.

I have been taking Molly running in the morning to get all of her energy out. It works--after we go running, she dozes for a few hours before she gets all crazy-eyed in the afternoon. She is doing great though. Today I taught her how to "stay." Three months old--she's a keeper! I spent the day decorating our home with thrift store and craigslist finds. It's amazing what is out there! We got a beautiful wooden headboard for $15, a leather office chair for $15, and an antique standing mirror, the kind that can spin all the way around. This place is really feeling like our home. We both love it.

Tonight we met up with our engagement photographer, Alysson Copeland. She is making a promotional video for her website, and she asked us to be a 'model' couple. Since she took our engagement pictures for free, it was the least we could do! I think we will get a couple of cute pictures from the session too. I guess after all these years of driving people crazy with our loveydoveyness, it finally pays off! We had a fun time at the shoot. Alysson and the videographer had set up an adorable picnic scene near Garden of the Gods, and we got to cuddle and be all goofy cute. I can't wait to see the pictures!

So, I realized today that Jack and I are officially an old married couple. We go to bed before 10pm, sometimes even at 9. Jack wakes up at 4:45 to head to work and I sleep in lazily till about 6:15. Speaking of, time for bed.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a puppy

Her name is Molly. She is three months old, potty-trained, and oh so stinkin cute.

We got her from Rocky Mountain Puppy Rescue, which saves puppies from kill shelters, fosters them, and gets them adopted by loving homes. The 'adoption' process took 4 hours, consisted of an interview and a questionnaire with about 100 questions on it (including our income, work number, direct supervisor's name, copy of lease agreement, etc). My grandparents adopted my mom's brother one day when he was left at the hospital, so I'm pretty sure Molly's adoption process was more intense than a real baby's in the 70s.

We adopted Molly after going with our high school friend, Kristy, to Vail for Survivor auditions. We had to go through Denver to take her back, and so we stopped at the PetCo where we knew this adoption event was happening. We actually did not list Molly (aka Polomino) as a puppy that we were interested in, but because we had to wait several hours to see the puppies (they show us in groups of 8 and we were the final group), many of the puppies we had our eye on were already gone. Molly was the first dog we played with, and she was actually so timid that she would not look at us (although she did crawl into my lap at one point). We fell in love with her because she was so sweet, and because we knew she would warm up to us. When the volunteer picked her up, Molly actually licked her face! We also liked that she was on the smaller side for her breed, since we were looking at finding a more medium size dog, especially since we will be renting for a while.

We figured Molly was a black lab. She actually looks a lot like my family dog, Scout, but we were then told she is a Border Collie/Australian Shepherd mix. I knew Lassie was a Border Collie and I had a friend with an Australian Shepherd, so that sounded great, right?! We put her down as our first choice and found out 30 minutes later that we got her! Actually, I think the only reason Molly wasn't adopted before we got to her was because she was so shy (the name Polomino probably didn't help her case either), but it only took a few minutes with her for the spunk to come out!

This dog is insane. We took Kristy back to her hotel and had Molly on a leash on the pavement. As Jack and I were about to leave, Molly was sniffing around like you would expect any dog to do, when Jack called out: "What's in her mouth?!" I turned to see a little tail hanging out of her mouth and two tiny little feet. Yep, she ate a mouse. Just plopped it in her mouth and swallowed it whole. We didn't let her lick our faces after that move. (For all of you concerned citizens reading, it's been over 24 hours since that incident and everything is normal with her, poop and all.)

Molly looks more like a border collie in her physical shape and color. She is short haired, black, and has the build and face of a border collie. She has a little bit of white from her neck down, and she definitely has the intelligence part. I'm not sure if she actually does have any aussie in her, although she does have some brown-ish discoloration on the sides of her neck, so maybe she does. The shelter listed a third mix as retriever. If you google border collie lab mix, many of the dogs look similar to her.

Anyway, because the border collie is dominant, I started reading up on the breed, and now I know what we got ourselves into! She is incredibly smart. Like I said, she is already completely 100% potty trained. She knows how to sit, lie down, and come. If you tell her "no" or "leave it," and then move the object a foot away, she actually will leave it alone. Sounds wonderful, right? So far, so good. But I know what's coming! I've noticed that when she's bored, she finds paper or socks or plastic or anything that looks remotely chewable to chew on. I took her running this morning (like legitimate running) and she still has a ton of energy. We are going to have to invest in training classes so we cant teach her to do tricks and even to do work around the house to keep her happy!

The funniest part of our new addition is Leo's reaction. After being terrified for a day, he now follows her around everywhere.

"I've got her now."

"She has no idea. Muahahaha."

"Oooh okay, just a little too close for comfort. Backing up, backing up."

Molly, our border collie mix :)

Sleeping with her papa.

I told her to sit. She sat.

Murica.

Um, okay, yes, so we've gone totally fur-crazy (see what I did there?) and refer to ourselves as mama and papa around our pets. Yeah, yeah...get over it.

Rhythms

I made the resolution to go to daily mass. I am not really sure why. I think it was simply because I know that I should, that the sacrifice of the mass the holiest thing in the entire world and I owe it to God to give up 45 minutes of my day to be there. Plus I'm unemployed--I can't really make excuses not to at this point. Not the greatest of reasons, but it gets me there, and thats what counts, right? But to be completely honest, I haven't quite figured it out yet. There is something special, something sacred in the chapel, but you cannot see it or feel it. You just know it, in your head or maybe it's your heart, even while you are holding back yawns and trying to make yourself focus. Is that faith? The knowledge, the will, in spite of the occasional (shameful) boredom? I have to admit, it would be mind-blowingly awesome if God set my heart on fire and I lived and breathed the mass, but that hasn't happened. Probably because I have work to do before I can get to that point. How would I learn anything at all if God just pressed a button and made me holy? So I will keep going in the hopes that something will happen, slowly, some realization over passing time, some dull awakening inside my heart. For now, I will be content with the soothingness, the peace that gently taps in time to my beating heart. I am not sure where this peace comes from except for the knowledge of how small I am, how weak I am as I kneel on the risers. There is a pressure that is relieved when we can admit that we are nothing.

And as if to knock me over the head with it, this is my view as I take a couple steps out of the church:

P.S. This is my post for 8/14, but I didn't quite finish it because Jack was going to bed and I wanted to cuddle! Yay, marriage! You ain't got nuthin on this couple's sickening loveydovey cuteness. >;)

#armywifeproblems

Only one week into our marriage and the army has already one-upped us.

Jack's unit was scheduled to deploy in October; he even went to training in California for a month during our engagement to prepare for it. Shortly after he returned, his unit found out that they were going to be a task force that stays behind. True, he could be deployed anywhere in the world within 14 days come October, but we figured we would at least have more time together. Then, he found out that he was being moved to a new unit and was going to be given a new platoon. (A platoon is essentially a group of 30 or so guys. As a platoon leader, Jack, well, um, leads them.) He was bummed to leave his old platoon, but he met his new platoon yesterday and was feeling pretty good. Until he went into work this morning and found out that he was being moved to a different company with a different job within this new unit...the kicker: this new company is scheduled to deploy in October.

When he called me this morning at about 8am to tell me, I was surprisingly okay. I honestly think I just said: "Okay, that's okay. It will be fine." And I still feel that way to a point. I mean, I couldn't really expect anything else. I had been emotionally preparing for him to leave eventually (although I had lately been thinking we would be together for Thanksgiving or maybe even Christmas). But throughout the day, it has hit me more and more. Throughout our crazy long distance relationship, I found myself counting the weekends until we could see each other again (because the number of days was just too many). Now that we are finally together, the number of weekends we have left is just not enough. Why is it that time is always our closest friend and our worst enemy?

Now the preparations will have to start for his deployment. He already had to come home today to pack  uniforms that would be be sent to Kuwait in the next week. I am so new to army life--I don't really even know what I am supposed to do. We will have to visit JAG tomorrow to figure out legal and financial logistics (apparently we need POAs for EVERYTHING), all before we have even joined our bank accounts. I am sure there will be more packing, more shopping, more paperwork. But emotionally? How do we prepare for this separation emotionally?

I honestly don't know. I'm sure there will be lots of stress, and that is scary to me. On top of the deployment, Jack is starting a new job with new people, and all the friends we made in his old unit will not be a part of our lives. I guess it's time to put on my big girl panties and just love my husband as much as possible, make some friends, and deal with whatever life sends our way with joy and a positive outlook. And to pray that everything will be okay (which it always is eventually, even when we struggle).

I am trying not to complain. We both signed up for this! Well, he signed up for this--I signed up for him. ;) There are some positives to this deployment (and we are both going to have to remind ourselves of these positives in the year):

1. He is going to Kuwait, and Kuwait is not a combat zone. To be clear, he could be sent to a combat zone from Kuwait, but we won't count on that. 
2. This deployment will help us appreciate each other more than we will realize. I can tell it has already hit us that our time together is limited and that we have to make the most of it. 
3. These nine months of living by myself will be a chance to grow up and become self-sufficient, e.g. to learn how to mow a lawn and other things (yes, my family does own a lawn company...no shame). 
4. Our newlywed stage is going to be seriously prolonged by this 9-month separation. It's like being newlyweds for two years instead of one, right?! 
5. We will learn to live in the present, to truly be present with one another. Oh and give each other presents. (Just kidding on the last one, but now that I think of it, it might be easier to give early birthday and Christmas presents...)
6. I'm sure I will think of more eventually. But come on, there are only so many positives when it comes to deployments. 

Anyway, the point of this post, if you were not able to read my lengthy prose, is that we found out today that Jack is deploying in October, and that we are going to have to switch gears, buckle up, and hold on to each other tight...because this ride is about to get a little bumpy. 

life (one week) after our wedding

When you get married, everything builds up for months and months until it explodes into one glorious, ephemeral day that is over before it seems to have even begun. That is how I felt at least; my entire existence--well, more like all of my concentration and focus (let's not start this blog out all melodramatic)--revolved around making this wedding happen in four months, and then it was over in one day.

A wedding is a day. A marriage is a lifetime.

A beautiful saying that I completely agree with, and what I even told Jack the night of our engagement: "We can have a small wedding with our closest friends and family, we don't need anything crazy or fancy, just as long as we can finally get married!" (Yes, yes, that is what five years of dating makes a girl think after he finally pops the question...We could have had our reception at Chuck E Cheese's and I would have been happy.) Well, considering Jack has a large extended family and that I have a colossal extended family, that small wedding turned into a much more normal sized wedding in a beautiful and much more tasteful venue. What with all of our marriage preparation classes, NFP classes, meetings for the cake, the flowers, the photographer, the church wedding coordinator, the musician (not to mention all the hours it took to find all the vendors), all the crafts, programs, RSVP cards, table numbers, etc I made to save money and personalize our wedding, I found myself being completely immersed in the planning process. I thought about (and made mental plans for) my huge to-do list while I ate, drank, slept, showered, drove places, clipped my nails, you get it? etc.

And then, like when you break a nail after you have perfectly grown them out and manicured them for weeks, our wedding day happened before I could realize what was happening. I remember, standing at our reception, talking to someone who I ironically can't remember, and saying, "I really feel like I'm taking this all in right now."Then it was like flashing, dancing, laughing, and then, just over.

I have flashes of little memories throughout the day. My bridesmaids praying over me minutes before the ceremony. Feeling like I should be crying as I walk down the aisle (but really just being too happy and amazed that it's actually happening to shed any tears). Seeing my handsome husband in his uniform holding back his tears. My brothers kissing me on each cheek as my mom lets me go to my husband. Not being sure what we are supposed to do as he takes my hand and I proceed to stumble up the stairs in my huge dress. Holding hands on the kneelers feeling at perfect peace with my husband. These little moments I remember, and I guess that is what counts in the end.

Still. I'm excited that we decided to get a videographer. I cannot wait to see everything from an outside perspective, to see all the moments that we missed and to laugh and cry over all the memories.

Not that it is all over and the honeymoon (which was amazing) is over too, and I'm here, lounging in our queen-size bed with a beautiful comforter and fluffy pillows (that desperately need pillowcases), I can't help but miss it a little bit, the excitement that went so quickly, the food we never got to eat, the time with friends and family we can never get back. But as my husband jumps into bed with me all goofy-like to give me a kiss, I can't miss it. I can only rejoice in the day, because it brought us, along with the support of our family and friends, here together. <3




Jack and I would like to thank everyone who has supported us and prayed for us on our journey to this moment. We our so excited for begin our lives together and cannot wait to see what life brings. Thank you for reading--we hope you enjoy our attempt to update our friends and family on our new life together.