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| John and Suzy with me and Anne (my Colorado Springs carpool friend) |
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| Jenna, Chris, Michelle, and Marilyn drove up from the Springs (even though they haven't known me very long at all- how wonderful is that, right?) |
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| The final song of Les Miserables I don't have a picture with my mom, sister, aunt and grandparents. (Mom- did we take any? If so, I'll post it here!)
And then- after all these months of rehearsals and shows- this part of my life is over! All of the people I had met and were becoming friends with- well, it's done! I auditioned for the next musical at this theatre, Into the Woods. I was called back for Cinderella but found out last Tuesday that I didn't get the part. I was so hoping for it, and I have to admit that I was a little crushed. Of course they said that out of the few of us who were called back for Cinderella, anyone could have done it. It was just going to be a matter of who looked best with the rest of the cast. Well, when I got the cast list, it made sense that they didn't pick me. The other people they had cast were all very mature for the roles. Even the young Jack (from Jack in the beanstalk) was in his thirties (at least) and Little Red Riding Hood was much taller and older looking than me, and the two princes had at least a foot on me. And the Cinderella they cast is very tall and a bit older than me, and she really will be a wonderful Cinderella. So yep, it made sense. After a bit of a mini-breakdown, I realized that I was the most upset not because I wasn't cast, but because I had, well, nothing to look forward to. No more rehearsals. No more shows. Just a trail of breadcrumbs called rejection from other auditions I'd had in the past couple months. And all the friends I had made during Les Miserables are still in Denver and I'm here and while I've met some wonderful people, no one here has become a true friend (the ones that we can bear our souls to, the ones who just get us, like my best friends, my bridesmaids who are all back home). And yes, now we're halfway through this deployment. But halfway is really not close enough to actually start looking forward to Jack's return...or I will drive myself crazy. And I have enough experience with long distance to know!
So at the urging of my patient and supportive husband, I snapped myself out of my little funk and did some things. 1) I completed an application form to volunteer at the crisis pregnancy clinic here. 2) I followed up on some job applications. 3) I decided to sign up for an improv workshop at a theatre here on Monday nights (it starts tomorrow!). 3) I joined the church choir. 4) I responded to a fellow army wife's request for a babysitter for her professor (and I met them yesterday- the little boy I will be babysitting every so often is super cute!). 5) I RSVP'd yes for a deployed spouses' Valentine's Day dinner next Friday. 6) I sent Big Brothers Big Sisters an email about becoming a Big Sister here in the Springs.
I'm keeping busy, getting involved, making a life for myself here so that I can make a difference and live my life fully and meaningfully.
I had an audition today for Shakespeare's As You Like It (in the Springs- and a professional theatre!). I'm really crossing my fingers here. I read for Rosalind (a lead), but the director stopped me and said that I was doing great but he couldn't consider me for her because she is supposed to be older. Instead, he wanted me to read for two other characters, so I spent 30 minutes going over these extra scenes and trying to get a grasp on 1) what they were actually saying 2) what they were actually feeling while meanwhile 3) creating a persona for these characters. I hate to jinx it, but I think the director liked me! Of course, after I was done, I thought of all the different things I should have done during the audition...but the director actually burst out laughing after one of my lines, so that's a good sign, no? The rehearsals aren't even until July, but I would so love to act professionally again and not to mention make some contacts with professional actors in this city. But I've learned I can't hang on to these auditions. Once I'm done, it's over. And maybe if I'm extremely lucky I'll here back in a few months. Who knows!
While we're on the same subject of Hello________ (something in the future)?, Jack and I are at a place where we really don't know what the heck is going to happen with his career, with the army, with life! He's really got to start thinking about what is next, and I can tell it's driving him crazy. On one hand, staying in the army is a solid, stable career choice with lots of benefits, including retirement at 40-frickin-2! I for one love the army community and even the prospect of moving around is exciting. I've met lots of really amazing women, and this family-centered community would be a wonderful place to raise children in. But on the other hand, the pressure on soldiers is pretty extreme for even the most easy-going of people. I'm going to attempt to put myself in Jack's shoes based on what I've heard him and other wives and soldiers talk about so you can get the picture:
Imagine a job that you can't leave, where you have no control over what time you show up (6am or earlier!), what time you leave work (sometimes as late as 7pm…or later), a career where you are moved around to different departments ("units") that require completely different skills than your previous job, where you have to start developing relationships all over again after you were only just settling into your previous position; where you have to leave your loved ones for months on end while putting your life in danger; where dangerous training exercises are an everyday reality; where your boss is allowed to scream at you and humiliate you for something that's probably not even your fault; where you have little autonomy, very little creative expression; where your body breaks down because of the physical training you have to endure (think of miles of ruck marches carrying upwards of 50 pounds on your back), where missed birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays due to training and deployments are so commonplace that your family is actually used to "online" birthday parties (or even watching your wife give birth over Skype!)
... the list could honestly go on and on. So while I definitely appreciate aspects of the army life, I understand 100% why Jack would be questioning whether or not to make a career out of this. I see how the pressures affect him on a daily basis, and if he can find a career that ultimately fulfills him, I want to support him as much as I possibly can, even if the transition is difficult. Which means we are up in the air, and probably will be floating up here for a while as Jack explores some of his interests and the careers that could go with them. It's a scary thought, but one of my friends is currently in this process and her husband has already turned down several really great job offers, so I know that it would be okay with us as well. Please keep us in your prayers-- that God will give us some direction on what the next step is, whether it is the army for some other adventure. We would so appreciate it!
Well, this little blog post has become a little more than little, so I'll finish it up with some exciting news. I made my first crazy purchase (gotta have at least one of those in life, right?)! It's this baby:
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1. Check the pin block. This is the back board of the piano, which the tuning pins are attached to. Basically, if this is cracked, you're kind of screwed. Super expensive. Guess what? No cracks at all in Dorothy's pin block!
2. Check the sound board. This is board underneath the keys. It amplifies the vibrations and is also very very important. Guess what? Dorothy's soundboard is in great condition! At this point, the tuner turned to me and said: "This piano is gold." Apparently because she is so old, she is made with real quality materials and craftsmanship. Basically, as much as I'd like to say I knew from pure musicianship she was in great condition when I played her at the thrift store, I had no idea what a pin block or soundboard was, so I got really lucky!
3. Next, we opened up the piano and went through some of the smaller fixes. The only thing that truly affected the sound was a missing little hammer so the highest 'A' didn't make a sound as well as a missing soft pedal (the farthest left). But we found the hammer at the bottom of the piano and he showed me how to use a straw to glue it back in place, and ta-da! Free fix. The pedal he said he would keep an eye out for an old pedal to use, but if not, we could buy a new set of 3 for $45. Of course, there are some smaller things that we can do if we want to really build up this piano and refurbish it. But basically it works wonderfully and we only need to if we want it to be the best it can be. Maybe we'll think about that in the future. He told me he once had an old piano that was in good condition like ours, and he did about 500 dollars worth of work on it and sold it for 5k. But of course, we'd have to pay him for the labor so it would be much more expensive for us to do. I like that he told me that though; it shows that he is honest. For now, I'm just going to work on sanding and staining it and that sort of free-ish thing. He also said the piano keys are real ivory so I can take a nail file and sand down some of the chips in them. So in summary I'm really excited about Dorothy! I've been playing her and working on some of my old piano songs I used to play. Maybe our future kids will be little concert pianists! ;)
And now this huge post is finished! I hope my 3 readers (7 on a good day) enjoyed these ramblings. :)
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