Busy Bee

Besides the fire alarms that are still going off every four hours here, I think I'm adjusting pretty well. I am keeping very busy! I actually have more social engagements now than I did in college (yes, all I did in college was study). Almost every day I have something planned, either with another army wife or group. If I didn't, I think I would go absolutely crazy.

I've had several auditions recently as well. Tomorrow evening, I am going to a professional theater company up in the mountains to audition for a Christmas show. Being an actor takes a lot of confidence, because you are rejected for (what feels like) every ten shows you audition for! I have actually only auditioned for two stage shows at this point, so I guess I have eight more to go before I hit it big. ;)

We have news about Jack. He is for sure getting a platoon and headed off elsewhere in a couple weeks. He is excited to go;  his current job is tedious and he works twelve hours a day, seven days a week. His job as a platoon leader will be much more stimulating and his hours probably won't be so crazy. Right now, we have been talking every 2-3 days. Jack thinks the communication where he is going will be pretty good. We might only get to talk once a week, but compared to the stories we've heard about deployments in the past (like guys not being able to talk to their wives for 15 months), we will take it and count our blessings. Plus, he won't have to be in the desert anymore.

When Jack first got to Kuwait, I asked him what it looked like there. He told me: "Imagine a GIANT beach....with no water." I laughed and said, "Well at least you can build a sand castle!" His response after a dramatic pause: "It would just blow away." I have to be honest...Kuwait sounds miserable! I am excited to see the pictures of where Jack is headed, because I have a feeling it will be much more aesthetically pleasing.

All in all, I am trying to stay positive. I like to congratulate myself on little achievements like sleeping with only one light on in the house and putting away the folded laundry that had been sitting around for nearly two weeks. I've noticed that the wives who are the most content during deployments don't have pity parties for themselves, but instead appreciate life and what they have been given. Yes, being away from your husband is extremely difficult, but our lives are short and there is too much beauty in the world to let his absence affect your spirit. I have also seen that the most joyful wives are quick to offer their support to others. I hope to emulate these wives and always lend my assistance to those in need, especially those with young children. I can only hope that someone would be there for me if I was ever in need.

So here is the quick update into what's going on in the Holt household. Although I must confess that writing this blog has become a mostly therapeutic exercise for me. :)

Jack and I on FaceTime reminding ourselves that we are married! ;)

NOTE: Many of you have mentioned to me that you plan to send Jack a package for his birthday. Since he is headed out in a couple weeks, make sure you send it in the next few days so that he can get it before he goes.

Sink or Swim

Jack is gone now. It's just me, the puppy, the kitty, and our seldom mentioned fish, Rock Chalk, who is not doing so well without his proper caretaker.

All in all, things are going well. Jack and I are certainly used to being apart, just not apart as husband and wife. In general, I think this separation now is better than the separation we endured as a dating couple. There is less stress because being married is just so wonderful and stable. The only thing that really stinks is just plain missing each other. It's funny how I thought that Jack and I were close when we were dating, and when we were engaged too, but the closeness in being married is just at a different level. We certainly were close before we were married, but so much more so now in a way that is not even possible to describe. I believe it is the grace of God working in our marriage, the same grace that joined us together as one flesh. So even though we are oceans apart, even though the we are mostly out of contact, we are still one. It makes me think of all the people who are in relationships without this beauty. Jack and I certainly have a lot to learn about marriage, but I truly wish everyone could experience the beauty of a sacramental marriage.

The worst part for me is getting used to being alone, especially at night. I had some practice my sophomore year of college, when my roommate suddenly moved out and I was all alone in a creepy, dark brick building on campus. But then, I was about a 30 second walk to my friends' room and 100 yards away from my sisters' dorm. Here, in this city, I am strangely alone.

Last night, the alarm in the house suddenly went off. It sounded like a fire alarm, blaring and screeching in that hair-raising way that made me want to run away as fast as possible. After scrambling around frantically, I realized there was no smoke. I didn't know if there was a security alarm that I didn't know about, so I called my mom in a panic. She directed me to call 911, which I've never done before in my life. Police officers came and checked out the house and narrowed the alarm down to the carbon monoxide alarm. They called the fire department who came and checked out all of the CO levels. Everything was normal and they deemed the problem a faulty alarm. They took out the alarm's batteries and then took Jack's carbon monoxide alarm from the basement and put upstairs. They left, so I tried to relax and fall asleep. At 1 am, the alarm went off again (this time, the newly placed carbon monoxide alarm) and the firemen had to come back. They quickly realized it was just the smoke detectors and not the carbon monoxide alarm. Since all the smoke detectors are hardwired into the wall and interconnected, there was no way of knowing which alarm was malfunctioning.  They left, and a city utilities person came and checked around the house to confirm that there was no carbon monoxide. I went to bed at 3am and was woken up at 5am again by the alarms. I did the math and realized they were going off every 4 hours. Sure enough, they went off at 9am. The repairman came out to fix it today; however, after he left, the alarms continued to go off every 4 hours. I'm tense knowing that they are going to wake me up again tonight and freak me out. But it is what it is. At least I know it's not a burglar or carbon monoxide poisoning.

I felt pretty embarrassed and worn down after the firemen left for the second time. I know that this is their job and everything, that it's better to be safe than sorry, etc etc, but I also know that if I would have just stayed calm, I could have figured out that it was just the smoke detectors malfunctioning. If Jack was here, he would have known right away. But at least I know now.

It's funny, because the repairman today wasn't quite sure why the alarms would go off every 4 hours. Obviously they are going to need to be replaced, but he did think it was pretty strange. A friend mentioned to me today that everything seems to go wrong as soon as our husbands leave. It made me think about why this whole alarm scare would happen now. The only explanation I can come up with is that the Lord is just throwing me into freezing cold water so that I can learn how to swim.

Well, of course, I'm going to swim.